Be a male feminist. Prepare yourself to be held accountable.

I appreciate pieces like Lauren Rankin’s “Feminism Needs Men, Too” over at PolicyMic andinterviews like this one Brittney Cooper (of Crunk Feminist Collective) did with The Feminist Wire because they force me to consider more deeply what it means when I identify as a male feminist. I come into this space with a set of privileges (cis, male, hetero) that are in constant need of interrogation, so it’s important to take some time to reflect on that a bit.

I’m deliberate about saying I’m a feminist for a couple of reasons. I believe in equality and tearing down the systems of oppression that stand its way, so identifying as a feminist signals my dedication to radical change. But one can be invested in that work without applying the label. I choose it because I always want to be held accountable.

The line that struck me the most in Brittney’s interview is when she said: “The thing that we aren’t saying about male feminists is that they have to do the emotional work.” Relatively speaking, the politics is easy. The emotional work? That shit is hard, but is some of the most important work we’re charged with doing.

Because after the dust has settled, the reproductive rights have been won, the pay is equal, and there’s equal representation in Congress, the mission is only half complete if sexism still dominates our social spaces. You can say the structural stuff is more important, but it’s the everyday stuff that reinforces the structural stuff that adds up to a clusterfuck of mind-numbing oppression. And so many of us are guilty of allowing ourselves to perpetuate it without ever taking a moment to see the damage we’re doing.

It’s when you’re kickin’ it with your boys and you don’t speak up (or maybe even join in) when the one dude is being called a “bitch” or a “pussy” because he didn’t hit on the girl you saw…

To read this piece in its entirety, visit our friends at Feministing.com

Reblogged from One Man's Curiosity:

To be your brother’s keeper means that you will look out for him. It means that you will be there to help him through his mistakes and to congratulate him in all of his triumphs. It means that you will hold yourself partially accountable for all of his successes and his failures. But, therein lies the problem with mainstream masculinity. We seem to be missing a very important piece of our masculinity that has to do with accountability, especially when it comes to men’s treatment of women.

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As I continued to read more responses to the target, I found myself moving from total disappointment towards anger, an emotion that I’ve been intentional about not expressing in unhealthy ways since entering the Men’s Anti-Violence Movement.

This target that was being sold online is obviously terrible for many reasons. Ultimately, it supports a hierarchy where men are in power and use women as target practice to keep our stronghold over them.

Zombie Industries, the producer of the “Ex-Girlfriend Target,” is encouraging men to take out their anger with actual guns on targets that look like women while they imagine their ex-girlfriend’s body in one of the most overtly violent acts. Preparing oneself to feel pride, relief, maybe even happiness as a simulated human is bleeding after it’s filled with bullets encourages femicide, domestic violence, and a hatred for women and girls.

Due to severe public backlash, Zombie Industries recently stated that it will redesign its shooting target to have green skin to differentiate it from a real woman. But this minor alteration only demonstrates their inability to recognize the gravity of gender violence. According to The Huffington Post, CEO Roger Davis said that Zombie Industries is sorry if the company offended anyone with the target and disappointed that “people’s feelings were hurt.”

As Monica Casper, Professor of Gender and Women’s Studies at the University of Arizona, noted, “Hurt feelings are not the problem here; structural violence is the problem.”

If it isn’t clear yet, violence against women directly hurts men, too. We are trained to allow our bodies to be tools to perpetuate cycles of violence and contribute to a system that not only remains silent about, but actually celebrates and makes games out of killing women. Living in a culture of violence produces men and boys who can’t express real emotions other than anger, stripping us of the full potential of our humanity.

So I’m going to offer some advice based on a novel thought: Most men and boys are not okay with violence against women. Though some might not be at the stage where they regard this particular “target” as “bad,” I’m willing to vouch for the majority that are ready to do something. Step one, of course, is to never buy something that encourages gender violence. Outside of that, I’ve put together a list of ten more tangible things men can do to actively take a stand against violence against women. It’s time we put an end to all forms of violence and step up as a community.

10 Ways Men Can Prevent Gender-Based Violence

1. Communicate. One of our largest problems is that we do not talk. No one is a mind-reader. If we talk with our partners, we can understand each other’s wishes, thoughts, and desires. Consent should never be assumed.

2. Educate Yourself. There is lot of information on Domestic Violence that we ought to learn and understand. “1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime,” “1.3 million women are physically assaulted each year in the US,” and “every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted” are all undeniable statistics, and need acknowledgement and continuing press coverage.

3. Contribute. We ought to give our time, thoughts, and even monetary donations to helping stop all forms of violence against women. Assistance is always needed, and there are many ways for us to get involved and support the cause.

4. Support Victims/Survivors. We can be there for those who have been victimized by domestic violence or sexual assault. This might mean driving someone to the hospital, accompanying a victim to court or the police station, or even just sitting and listening to the survivor.

5. Organize. As men, we can create or join a movement against DV.

For the rest of the top ten list, check out the original blog on The Feminist Wire 

(Original article found here)

Feminism is a movement to eradicate gendered oppression, to highlight women’s voices and experiences, and to challenge restrictive and constructed gender norms. It challenges male dominance and privilege, and, at its best, challenges white, heteronormative, and cisgender privileges, as well.

“This is what a feminist looks like,” the t-shirt proudly proclaims. But what about men? What does it mean to be a man and a feminist? What role do or should men play in the feminist movement? Acording to a 2009 CBS News poll, only 14% of men consider themselves feminists. Why so few male feminists? And how do we increase the number of male feminist allies?

Perhaps it’s because feminism isn’t a label, but an action. Co-host of Citizen Radio and writer Allison Kilkenny, notes that for a man to truly become a feminist, “He has to view the world through a more empathetic lens.” That reflects what her husband and co-host of Citizen Radio, Jamie Kilstein, notes as perhaps the biggest road block for men to become feminists: “Feminism requires an active change in your life.” To be a male feminist means changing the way you speak about and treat women, and that often means challenging your male friends when they perpetuate sexism, which can be incredibly difficult.

What’s more, the simple fact is that patriarchy privileges men, particularly white men. What does it mean to challenge an immensely deep societal framework from which you profit? It can be incredibly hard, and as Kilkenny says, “not every guy is up to that challenge.”

But many are, and more should be, because ending the patriarchal oppression for women is good for men, too. Patriarchy doesn’t just privilege men over women, but privileges certain kinds of men and certain kinds of masculinity. White, heterosexual, cisgender men receive the most favor,  but with that privilege, they are expected to perform a certain type of masculinity, one that is normalized as natural but is, instead, a performance based on societal norms. Feminism works to free both men and women from the gender binary that imposes a strict set of acceptable gender performances.

Worth noting, in the same 2009 CBS News poll, 47% of men stated that the women’s movement had improved their lives, up from 30% who said so in 1999. And this makes sense; feminism is not about demonizing men but about ending patriarchal oppression. Men are not the target; patriarchy is. Male feminists understand that no one is free until we are all free, and until we end the patriarchal oppression of women, men will suffer, too.

The feminist movement cannot afford to eschew male participation in a radical movement for social change. There are numerous male feminist allies who do incredible work — Jeff Fecke,Jamil Smith, Andrew Jenkins, Jamie Kilstein, Angus Johnston, John Knefel, to name a few — and continually prove that men not only have something to offer feminism, but can help enable feminist consciousness and understanding within a group that many female feminists simply can’t seem to reach: other men.

Jamie Kilstein is a political comedian, co-host of Citizen Radio, and proud feminist, and he emphasizes the role that feminist men can play as a role models for younger men.

“If you look up to a guy and he starts telling you about rape culture or feminism as you’re developing, that can make a difference,” he says. Feminist men can help to shift the patriarchal assumptions of masculinity for younger men, and they can help liberate other men from the strict gender binary that dictates what it means to be a man. And male feminist comedians like Jamie Kilstein and John Knefel help make feminism relatable and cool for younger men who may not understand it. Male feminist allies can get through to younger men in a way to which women may not be able.

Men can be great feminist allies, but because of their privileged positions as men and because they cannot understand firsthand what patriarchal oppression feels like, it’s important for men to take a supportive role.

“I shut up for a second and listen to people who actually have to live with [that oppression],” Kilstein emphasizes, and he is exactly right. Men who want to be feminist allies need to listen to women and give rise to women’s voices and experiences. Male feminists can play a vital role in educating other young men and showing solidarity with feminist women, but they need to understand that they are supportive allies, not headlining superstars. Feminism affords women a space to share their often ignored and silenced stories, experiences, and perspectives, and male feminists should promote and support those.

The feminist movement needs male allies, but we need male allies who listen, who trust us, who support us. We need male feminist allies who will challenge their friends and male social circles, who will defend us without sidelining us, and who will continue to call out sexism when they see it. “I’m proud to be part of a movement where women are at the forefront and [I get] to be the backup,” Kilstein says. And that is what being a male feminist ally is all about.

As the only male staff person at the Pacific Lutheran University Women’s Center, and one of very few nation-wide, it may be strange to hear me discuss “Resistance.” Women’s Centers have been positioned as a haven for women from the oppressive patriarchal culture we live in. As a result, it can seem odd that a man is part of that community given that patriarchy is understood to represent his interests. However, men’s resistance to this system is critical, though, defining exactly what that resistance means for men, has often proved challenging.

Resistance to harmful systems of social power is practiced by increasing awareness of the harm done and creating conversations to illuminate healthy and/or less harmful alternatives. For men this certainly means educating ourselves and others that:

• While a small percentage of men sexually assault 1 in 4 college women and 1 in 6 boys at some point in their lifetime, most men continue to simply feel guilty by association. We do that by convincing ourselves that these are “women’s issues” and that we somehow are not deeply connected to women. As a result, we allow excuses to be made for perpetrator actions by blaming victims and we remain silent rather than challenge the harm done to those we love.

• Homophobia harms all men by denying our right to be valued for the entirety of who we are – from our emotions and relationships with other men, to our sexuality. Instead, we kill ourselves (sometimes literally) trying to fit someone else’s definition of who we should be, while our insecurities drive us to devalue anyone not “man enough” (ie: ourselves and gay men, trans folks, and women especially).

The conversations we need to have, should start with these issues, but focus on creating less painful ways of being men. Without language for and demonstrated examples of masculinities that accept and represent the entire man – including men’s emotional depth and love for others, especially other men – the status quo will remain. We all need deeper relationships with the men in our lives: fathers, brothers and friends. Yes this can be scary, and absolutely requires hard work, courage and leadership – but isn’t that what we expect of men?

Jonathan Grove has served as the PLU Men Against Violence Project Coordinator since inception of the program in 2005. Involved in survivor support and engaging men in these efforts since 2003, he currently works to broaden involvement and bring innovative prevention education programs to PLU. One of a limited number of men with experience working with male groups on gender violence prevention, Jonathan is invested in sharing his experiences through presenting workshops across the nation.

Jackson Katz’s TEDx talk on shifting the gender violence prevention paradigm has spread virally. We hope that all our readers watch and pass it on!

*Slow clap* for the men of University of Arizona. Time for men to take a stand.

Sexual violence and other forms of trauma can have an impact on our ability to prepare for and effectively cope when disasters strike. In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month join the Disaster Distress Helpline (DDH), the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, and other guests and participants for a Twitter Chat on Friday, 4/26, from 1:00-2:00 EST to discuss the importance of addressing violence in the context of disasters, as well as resources available to violence prevention workers and disaster responders! Follow Disaster Distress Helpline @distressline and use the hashtag #TalkWithUs to join!

Reblogged from Men & Masculinities Knowledge Community:

As I was gathering my thoughts (and writing this in my head before typing it), I perused some of our past newsletters. There are some great thoughts in there. Brian Reed, past chair, was reflecting on men’s work being emancipatory. Osvaldo Del Valle was writing about collaboration and commitment to professionals and the connection of our self-awareness to our work with all college students, men included.

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