Marriage Equality in the Bank Account

I got married in October last year and when I got married, my wife made more money than me, had more education, and already owned a condo. I essentially brought a backpack full of stories from various adventures across the U.S. I mean, I was employed and had an M.A. of Education, but she clearly wins.

In the months leading up to the wedding, I never heard my friends mock my “marrying up.” No one called her my Sugar Mamma. So, why did part of me feel the need to joke about it when no one else did?

I don’t have a sound answer for you. But I will say that searching for answers by googling “My wife earns more than me” brought back a variety of responses from “who cares” to “divorce her!”

Perhaps while some husbands are okay with earning less than their wives, it is definitely not true that women are making more than men in the marketplace. One exception (finally) is Pat Summitt. Recently heralded for being the winning-est coach in college basketball history, back in 2007 she was paid just over 1 million dollars and just barely edged out Bruce Pearl in terms of salary at Tennessee. However, before we hail this as a victory, let’s remember that she has been there since 1974 and Bruce began in 2005. It took Pat 33 years to break 1 million dollars. It took Bruce 2. And he doesn’t even coach there anymore…



Brian Anderson serves as a Chaplain for Juniors, Seniors and Interfaith Programs at Loyola University Chicago. He received a Master’s in Student Development Administration from Seattle University where he began researching masculine identity and Men Against Violence programs. His current interests focus on how men approach their spirituality and how their faith traditions affect the formation of their masculine identity. Recently, Brian has given presentations on how Catholic Universities have addressed programming directed at men as well as received training through Men Can Stop Rape. He is a member of NASPA and their Men and Masculinities Knowledge Community.


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